never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
