they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
