This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
