I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
