Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
