please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
