East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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