It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
