so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
