i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
