Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
