i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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