I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
