You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
