Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
