i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize