Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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