Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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