He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
