I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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