i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
