she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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