Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
