Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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