im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
