Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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