Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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