I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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