Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
