I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
