i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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