oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
