What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
