Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
