if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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