i will never coherently bang her
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
