I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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