you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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