I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
