Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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