And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
