The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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