I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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