I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
