I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
