He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize