You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
