Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
