she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
