You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
