As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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