nutella sex= disaster
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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