ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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