i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
