omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
