i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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