id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
