We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
