My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize