youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
