Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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