u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How naked do you want me to be?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
